When the excitement fades.

The beginning of a relationship can feel like the sweetest part of a coupling. There is novelty in not knowing someone’s every flaw, and people are often on their best behavior. When someone relies on that excitement to put in effort, treating you well can come easily.

But as time goes on and the novelty fades, it takes discipline to sit in uncomfortable spaces with your partner. To consistently show up for them, even when your ego is being brought to center stage and the problems you buried deep within yourself instead of processing start coming to the surface.

Disagreements are part of a relationship, but putting down your shield and staying committed to the life you’ve planned together is what helps build a stable and healthy one. When someone relies mainly on the rush of something new, their effort may fade as the relationship becomes familiar or difficult. Hard conversations can start being met with: “The work is too hard.” “Why is this necessary?” “Your thought process makes no sense.” Or, “Why are you making a big deal about this?”

Whatever the reason behind those responses, when someone repeatedly dismisses your concerns or explains away why they don’t need to address them, the issue remains unresolved. You’re left carrying something you were trying to work through together. It can be easier to call someone’s thought process flawed than to understand the core issue behind their tears.